After a couple of weeks of growing and new people, Mass Chaos was back down to just four people on Sunday. The core group, me, Joe, and Brianne (Frank was out of town), plus Marcus. I really had thought this and the next couple of weeks would be the make or break weeks for the project, kind of like the five year business rule, or the seven year itch. I guess I could get wrapped up in the numbers, judge success or failure of the project on who or how many attended.
I could, except for one little thing: Love does not keep score.
Love doesn't keep score at all, how could I apply a number, or a price, on the love that has grown inside of me for Brianne, Frank, and Joe. My getting to know Marcus and Jen better, or Teri at all. Anna, the Bens, Merinda, Brianne's family, my life is richer. It multiplies even further, with the people I've gotten to know who've joined us for lunch outside of mass, Christmas and Todd. Plus the people I've talked to about it ... I couldn't even begin to count the riches, that's why love does not keep score, only God can count that high.
Joe, Me, Marcus, Father Frank, and Brianne.
Holy Name, 2901 Fontenelle Boulevard, Omaha. I love the feeling of walking into a church and having that feeling that God is present. I can usually narrow it down to the high ceilings in some churches tug on my 'fear' of open places. Holy Name doesn't do it with high ceilings, it does it with length. I like the the style of brick and cement use on the outside of the building and the way space is used outside.
Pentecost / Gospel:
"and he said to them again, 'Peace be with you. 'As the Father sent me, so am I sending you.' After saying this he breathed on them and said: Receive the Holy Spirit. John 20:21-22
I looked carefully at Brianne's feet ... no socks. I must have done something right, she just said that I "...could charm the socks off of anyone." This was in response to my reluctance to going up to a complete stranger and ask them to take our picture, despite my unofficial position of Mass Chaos photographer.
I laughed, I'm not exactly the easiest person to get know or even like, particularly when people first meet me. I'm quite shy with people I don't know, and it is very difficult for me to go and talk to people I have known for a while, let alone complete strangers. I so greatly admire people who can just walk up to others and start a conversation, in particular Brianne and our friend Vivian. Naturally with me, it's not even that simple to define. Speeches, singing, performance; they are all easy for me. But talking one on one with someone I don't know, whew. I'm sure I could take this shortcoming and hide in it pretty easily, and not dance or socialize, and to some extent I think I do, and all would be well, except for...
Jesus says three things in the two lines of the Gospel here.
- Peace be with you.
- As the Father has sent me, so I send you.
- Receive the Holy Spirit.
Each of these things is not a carefully worded suggestion to cause us to consider a different point of view. Jesus speaks with the authority of God, and these aren't really good suggestions, they are in fact, commands. Why shouldn't I just stay in my own shell and live a life where I remain unchallenged? Because as the Father has sent Jesus, so Jesus is sending me. Me? Yes me!
"I'm so not good at this, Lord, are you sure you want ME? Yes, God is sure He knows what He is doing, and fortunately, He is not sending us alone, He has given us the Holy Spirit to strengthen us and keep us company. Here is what I have learned from the world, that it is okay to trust your friends, when they love someone, that person is someone I'm probably going to love also. But if I've learned this from the world, how much greater will it be if I learn to trust the Spirit and everyone God loves?
So Am I to receive this Spirit of God as part of my own being? Again, Jesus didn't offer the Spirit as a limited type of agreement, He said to receive, so I should trust that this Comforter is with me, and no real harm can come to me. God gives us peace, something to do, and the Spirit not because we deserve it, or because He needs us, but because He loves us. These are gifts from God, and really the only way we can refuse them is to fight them off, like a little child pouting and refusing to cheer up. It is so exhausting to fight God, and lately, it has been exhausting to fight to stay in my unnoticed little corner. So if you happen to see me soon, and I come and introduce myself, and it's an enjoyable experience, don't thank me, thank God.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
Prayers:
Please pray for:
Tom who is being deployed to Afghanistan, and his wife and two daughters.
My friend C., who is recovering from being ill.
My friend B., who is struggling with herself lately.
Heidi as she prepares for a mission trip to Haiti in July.
Me, I'm pretty burned out on the job lately.
Peace, Eric
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