Mass Chaos is now 3/4 of the way finished, and I've found myself caught up in "what's next" scenarios. I've received questions from friends, and I've caught myself thinking about it myself. I guess it's in human nature to consider the future, and the past for that matter. When I took my first psychology class, I remember being taught that a child only is concerned only with the present, an adult is concerned with the future, and the elderly are concerned with the past. I think it's fairly accurate about the smallest children, but adults are more complicated than that.
Thinking too much about the future is not super productive, there are so many factors that are completely outside of our control. Certainly, as adults, we have to plan for what we're going to do, and prepare for many contingencies. Not just for ourselves, but for others, such as family or coworkers. However, our thinking about the future should not take us out of the present. Likewise, the past is outside of our control too, even more so than the future. Considering the past and what could be different is probably as ineffective of a behavior as we engage in. While it's important to learn the lessons that our experiences teach us, but dwelling on the past is as ineffective behavior as we engage in.
I think that I've learned to try keep myself in the present, but not like a small child would. A small child is in the present, but it's all about me and mine (yes, I know adults like this). I try to keep it in the present, but without a focus on myself, the focus is on God, the of His wonder of creation and how to serve other people, not in a global manner, but instead what is right in front of me. I get to enjoy the moment and worries disappear ... and hopefully I hear the voice of God in the stillness of the here and now.
Teri, Ben, Marilou, me, Beth, Frank, Brianne, Frank, Jen, Lindsay, Patrick, Joe, and Vesper. Now imagine people packed this close together in Culver's when we went for lunch.
Location and Architecture:
Saint Matthew the Evangelist, 3605 Looking Glass Drive, Bellevue. I learn something new every week, Saint Matthew's meets in the gym at the school, so the pictures were taken don't have any stained glass, or permanent fixtures. Does the building make it a church, or do the parishioners? Saint Matthew's calls itself a Catholic community, not a Catholic church, and the Diocesan website says Parish. Obviously as Catholics we are concerned about authority and legality, but at some point, the building is not as important as the love as the parish community. Even without a permanent building, Christian love was tangible in the gathering of His people. On a personal side note, the church history tab on the parish website says the parish became official on May 6, 1996, which is the day after I came back to church.
Gospel:
"Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father." Matthew 5:16
I have a difficult time with this because I understand my own position as a sinner. I know that there are people who are wonderfully supportive of me who might argue with me about this, but I know my desires, I know my thoughts, and I know my history. Although I understand that I have good facets to my personality, I have plenty of space for improvement. Additionally, I don't always do the best job of tooting my own horn.
So how do I, as a sinner, let my light shine before others? Considering that the word here that Jesus uses is "must", it's not optional. So somehow I have to overcome my sinfulness and let my light shine. There is one easy way to do that, it's just to simply talk about what God has done for you.
I'm now approaching my 15th year since I walked back into church. My friends, I was so clueless that I went back to church because I thought my ex-wife needed to go, not because there was anything wrong with me. I lived everyday in fear, self centeredness, and drama. God has brought me so far, out of my fear, out of my self destructive behavior, and replaced the drama with serenity.
In retrospect, I can see how badly I lived my life then, and how much better it is now. There is only one reason I've come this far, and that is having a God who is personally interested in me and my life. If it were my will alone, I'm not certain I would have changed at first. With God guiding me, not only have I changed, but now, I look forward to what He wants me to be. God is really good.
Lord help me to be your light in the world.
Prayers:
Please pray for:
The people of Egypt, and other countries in turmoil, that they can experience freedom, social justice, and peace.
Tom who is deployed to Afghanistan, and his wife and two daughters.
Amy and Shannon for protection on their missions.
Kevin as he prepares for his final year of seminary and the priesthood.
Marcus as he has been accepted into seminary and will be discerning the priesthood.
My friend M., who is pregnant, please pray for her and her baby.
Me to be free of this back pain.
Next:
February 13th @ 9:30 Saint Adalbert, 2110 South 32nd Avenue, Omaha.
Peace, Eric
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